Be Responsible

“A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.” Bob Dylan

The greatest lesson in life I got from my mum was not to be a victim. She taught me, bless her, through always playing the victim herself. As a child it confused and frustrated me, even bringing me to hate her at times, but as an adult with a broader view on life I came to understand it was a precious gift she had given me.

To take responsibility for your actions and to understand that life is not personal, are two fundamental insights to becoming a mature adult. On the other hand, victimisation is a destructive and self-centred habit that only brings suffering to yourself and those around you.

As one of 7.5 billion humans on the planet, we must all take seriously the responsibility we have to contribute to a peaceful and harmonious world. That responsibility starts and ends with ourselves, because only through taking care of ourselves first can we be of any positive influence on those around us and society in general.

Stop looking outside of you for excuses, reasons or justifications and start facing the fact that life pretty much gives to you according to your actions and your expectations. Take this knowledge as an opportunity, not a threat! It is through this same marvellous law that you can be exactly as you choose to be.

When you accept responsibility for your actions, life becomes much easier and naturally takes you to better ground as you are open to learn and adjust and therefore break the cycle of repeating the same behaviours over and over.

Life isn’t just about you, but about the bigger picture and how your thoughts and actions affect those people around you that you care about. It’s your decision to take the road of victim or victor, my opinion being life is way to short to waste time in excuses and sorrow. Find that burning flame of why you need to act responsibly and that in itself will start you on the right choices.

Inspiration

 

Consciousness

“Repetition is the mother of learning, the father of action, which makes it the architect of accomplishment.” Zig Ziglar

Consciousness, or awareness, is the key to everything. The more conscious, or aware, you are, then the closer you are to living life as it actually is, so take Zig Ziglar’s advice and re-read this blog ad infinitum.

So, there´s a lot of literature and talk about living “consciously” with every breath and every step…but what does that mean exactly and, more importantly, can we know when we are being conscious?

I once did a group activity where 3 from the group were previously selected to observe the rest of us performing a task. As I naturally tend to take the lead in group activities I soon found myself leading the task at hand and, at least to my own reckoning, doing a good job at organising and delegating.

Low and behold at the end of the activity I was blasted on various points that the observers noted – all of which landed like a wet sock striking my face. My ego was hurt but on reflection I could not argue with objective observation and had to accept the critiques.

Needless to say, assuming I am not an exception to the rule, we are not who we think we are and we do not act how we think we act, at least most of the time. Depending on the situation we are more or less blinded by our prejudices and beliefs and interpret events through these filters, incapable of just seeing the world for what it is in that moment.

Being truly conscious means being able to “see” beyond these filters and simply take each and every moment of life for what it is in that very moment. Easier said than done! Still, the path begins once you understand this truth and determine to act according to it. It cannot be forced or programmed, only determined with absolute clarity and commitment. The seeing and commitment will bring about a natural change in awareness, as long as you relax and have faith that the change will happen.

As with all psychological challenges, you cannot ask the problem to solve itself so you are left “simply” with understanding, clarity and commitment. Yes, you can!

“What is necessary to change a person is to change their awareness of themselves.” Abraham Maslow

INSPIRATION

MEMORY AND OBSERVATION

We are all caught in a very subtle trap, and it all starts with memory.

Our first memories are usually from the ages of 3+ so as a new-born child and infant we have no memory. This is important because it is memory that creates “me” and “my story” through experience, knowledge and possession. This is mine, that was my birthday, I experienced that, I suffered this…When memory begins, we are immediately isolated from the world around us as “me” and begin to see the world through this “me” rather than just as it is.

As our knowledge and experience is added to and reinforced we become more and more sure of certain things which become our beliefs. So memory (stored in the brain) forms our beliefs. We continue to accumulate knowledge and experience about ourselves so becoming more sure of our self image.

The source of our ills stems exactly from this capacity to remember. Our memory creates “me” and it creates our beliefs. With this internal framework of what we believe the world to be like and what we believe ourself to be like we create the filter with which we experience reality.

So we are always looking at and experiencing reality through our memory – that is, the past. By definition, our vision of the world is not real nor actual. It is, and will always be, limited, That is why we generally repeat the same behaviours and mistakes over and over in life, perhaps fine-tuning this or that and learning a little from our mistakes, but our fundamental beliefs and core values remain the same over time.

So we are limited by what our memory dictates to us in the form of beliefs and habits and these define our quality of life. We then look to this same memory for answers on how to change habits and beliefs to improve our quality of life. Doesn’t make sense – a problem cannot solve itself!

So, if we cannot ask the question “how do I change”, what can we do?

Observe without memory

Only when your brain is silent can the mind (universal intelligence) guide you in right action. And that can only happen NOW. Not tomorrow, gradually over time or any other moment in the future.

The only time you will ever “change” is right now, and the only way you will achieve this is by doing nothing – just observing without memory (a silent brain). Don’t ask how to observe without memory because you are asking memory about that!! Just do it 🙂

“We need silence to be able to touch souls” Maria Teresa

INSPIRATION…

 

 

 

 

CREATING LASTING CHANGE

change

Having spent more than 20 years reading, listening, reflecting, considering, trialling, observing, learning, attending (phew!) and a host of other things I’ve likely forgotten, I’ve come to a realisation; real, lasting change IS possible.

Not only is it possible, but it’s deceptively simple. No kidding!

Consider for a moment a time in your life when you have changed a habit or achieved a goal with apparent ease. Actually, that is exactly when you are successful. You will not achieve significant change or success when your actions are forced and you are “obliged” to do it. “Musts” generally get spat back at you by your omnipresent ego. “Really? You’re telling me I have to do it…well we’ll see about that!”

All permanent change comes from within and is relatively effortless. This is because once you have decided something spiritually, the psychological and physical just follow through. By spiritual, I mean the real you. When you have understanding, clarity, reason and make a clear decision, then your subconscious will do as instructed and almost seamlessly remove desire and create new habits.

It may sound too good to be true, but the truth of the matter is that all things brilliant in life are ingeniously simple – in fact, too “easy” and “simple” for our egos to accept as a possibility. That’s where you have to take control and guide your subconscious (the seat of habit and beliefs) to change through clarity and decision.

Start with a clear “why”. What is the reason for this change? What do I stand to gain by it and what is my motivation for doing it? Why is the change better than the status quo? What pain am I avoiding through this change? Can I see very clearly the benefits? Can I visualise myself with this new habit/s and how good they look and feel?

When you can really see yourself with the change already in place and feel how wonderful it is to be there, your subconscious will accept it as important and guide you in your new habits almost without effort. Your work is to clearly understand the why and deeply feel the need for the change as well as clearly visualising it. You are almost demanding the change because it is so clear to you why you need it. This clarity dissipates doubt and fear and empowers you forwards.

It really is that simple! If you can’t think of a personal example from your life to date I encourage you to try it out for yourself. Don’t let your ego fool you into thinking that enormous effort is required for any change or that it is just downright impossible. Bollocks! After all, most of your actions in life are just habitual so it’s simply a question of changing them.

be strong!

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi

“If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree.” Jim John

“Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are.” Soren Kierkegaard

INSPIRATION…