Be Responsible

“A hero is someone who understands the responsibility that comes with his freedom.” Bob Dylan

The greatest lesson in life I got from my mum was not to be a victim. She taught me, bless her, through always playing the victim herself. As a child it confused and frustrated me, even bringing me to hate her at times, but as an adult with a broader view on life I came to understand it was a precious gift she had given me.

To take responsibility for your actions and to understand that life is not personal, are two fundamental insights to becoming a mature adult. On the other hand, victimisation is a destructive and self-centred habit that only brings suffering to yourself and those around you.

As one of 7.5 billion humans on the planet, we must all take seriously the responsibility we have to contribute to a peaceful and harmonious world. That responsibility starts and ends with ourselves, because only through taking care of ourselves first can we be of any positive influence on those around us and society in general.

Stop looking outside of you for excuses, reasons or justifications and start facing the fact that life pretty much gives to you according to your actions and your expectations. Take this knowledge as an opportunity, not a threat! It is through this same marvellous law that you can be exactly as you choose to be.

When you accept responsibility for your actions, life becomes much easier and naturally takes you to better ground as you are open to learn and adjust and therefore break the cycle of repeating the same behaviours over and over.

Life isn’t just about you, but about the bigger picture and how your thoughts and actions affect those people around you that you care about. It’s your decision to take the road of victim or victor, my opinion being life is way to short to waste time in excuses and sorrow. Find that burning flame of why you need to act responsibly and that in itself will start you on the right choices.

Inspiration

 

Consciousness

“Repetition is the mother of learning, the father of action, which makes it the architect of accomplishment.” Zig Ziglar

Consciousness, or awareness, is the key to everything. The more conscious, or aware, you are, then the closer you are to living life as it actually is, so take Zig Ziglar’s advice and re-read this blog ad infinitum.

So, there´s a lot of literature and talk about living “consciously” with every breath and every step…but what does that mean exactly and, more importantly, can we know when we are being conscious?

I once did a group activity where 3 from the group were previously selected to observe the rest of us performing a task. As I naturally tend to take the lead in group activities I soon found myself leading the task at hand and, at least to my own reckoning, doing a good job at organising and delegating.

Low and behold at the end of the activity I was blasted on various points that the observers noted – all of which landed like a wet sock striking my face. My ego was hurt but on reflection I could not argue with objective observation and had to accept the critiques.

Needless to say, assuming I am not an exception to the rule, we are not who we think we are and we do not act how we think we act, at least most of the time. Depending on the situation we are more or less blinded by our prejudices and beliefs and interpret events through these filters, incapable of just seeing the world for what it is in that moment.

Being truly conscious means being able to “see” beyond these filters and simply take each and every moment of life for what it is in that very moment. Easier said than done! Still, the path begins once you understand this truth and determine to act according to it. It cannot be forced or programmed, only determined with absolute clarity and commitment. The seeing and commitment will bring about a natural change in awareness, as long as you relax and have faith that the change will happen.

As with all psychological challenges, you cannot ask the problem to solve itself so you are left “simply” with understanding, clarity and commitment. Yes, you can!

“What is necessary to change a person is to change their awareness of themselves.” Abraham Maslow

INSPIRATION

FIND YOUR LIFE PURPOSE. FIND CLARITY

fullsizerender-31.jpgYou’re lying on your deathbed (bear with me!) with just a few hours left to breath on this beautiful planet…NOW what is truly important to you? What would you most want to do in those last moments? Who would you most like to be with? What would you most like to say, and to whom? What would you most like to see, taste, smell, touch, feel? What do you regret not having done? What would you have changed about your life?

Personally, I believe that a having clear mind is one of the hardest yet most-important responsibilities in life. A clear mind is a happy mind, a focused mind and a powerful mind. Clarity is absolutely fundamental for a successful life. Without clarity we aren’t moving in any particular direction or at least not focusing our energies to achieve more, faster.

it should be one of the school curriculum subjects! Certain traditional cultures around the world understand the importance of a clear direction in life. They often spend many years as a community helping young adults to discover their purpose in life and start on their path to mastery of whatever that purpose is.

Clarity is the starting point from where you become the master of circumstances, rather than a slave to it. It’s when you take control of your life through discovering your purpose and motivations. Reflect, reflect, reflect on the questions posed above (and others as they come to you) until you are crystal clear about your passions, interests and values that will guide you in your life.

As always, the spiritual before the psychological and physical. The hard work is mental and requires courage to go beyond what society, family, friends and your past dictate to you and decide for yourself what matters and where you are going. A dominant sign of all successful people is precisely the courage to believe in themselves, which is to know themselves and decide for themselves, regardless of outside influence.

You, and only you, can know what is best for you, what mission you have in life and where to start. There may be 7.5 billion people on the planet, but you are still unique and individual; we all are. How can anyone know you better than yourself if we are all unique? Be brave, be free, have clarity!

“Children are remarkable for their intelligence and ardor, for their curiosity, their intolerance of shams, the clarity and ruthlessness of their vision.” Aldous Huxley

“I genuinely enjoy sweating out my frustrations and living a healthier life. My workouts are not all about vanity. They are about clarity for my mind and soul.” Khloe Kardashian

INSPIRATION

Quiz.001
OPRAH.COM What are you meant to be

 

 

NO EXCUSES

ExcusesI was once involved in a work project given to us by the executive management team involving myself and 5 other managers. By the end of the 3 month project, there were just 3 of us left in it and of those three, two of us had done 95% of the work. The shocking point here is that all of us were local or area manager level.

It’s about mindset and taking responsibility. When you are in a fixed mindset then the blame for unwanted circumstances and events generally falls on someone or something else. When you refuse to take (at least some) responsibility for events then you will never make progress as nothing gets done, and no progress is made without action.

Excuses are the easy way out. A successful project, job and life isn’t about justifying with all the reasons why something did or didn’t happen or get done, but about deciding, finding the time and resolving.

Start at the beginning. When you have a choice in the matter, don’t commit unless you are 100% on board and will follow through. If you don’t have a choice (e.g. work obligations) then focus your energy on planning and executing rather than why it can’t/couldn’t be done.

Fundamentally excuses denote a focus on “me”, as opposed to “us”. The truth of the matter though is that a successful and happy life is most-certainly more about focussing on “us” than “me”. You know that if you avoid responsibility it sticks and nags, hounding you until you either spend the effort to do what’s expected of you, or you spend the effort in creating a “feasible” excuse.

Either way you’ve had to focus on the task, so why not just focus on getting it done rather than why you didn’t? It’s a win/win; taking “excuses” out of your vocabulary means you will be fulfilling your responsibilities and getting more done. This means, setting yourself up for greater success and achievement. Just do it! 🙂

“You can make excuses or you can make progress. You choose.” Brian Tracy

“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.” George Washington

“I attribute my success to this: I never gave or took an excuse.” Florence Nightingale

INSPIRATION…

 

CREATING LASTING CHANGE

change

Having spent more than 20 years reading, listening, reflecting, considering, trialling, observing, learning, attending (phew!) and a host of other things I’ve likely forgotten, I’ve come to a realisation; real, lasting change IS possible.

Not only is it possible, but it’s deceptively simple. No kidding!

Consider for a moment a time in your life when you have changed a habit or achieved a goal with apparent ease. Actually, that is exactly when you are successful. You will not achieve significant change or success when your actions are forced and you are “obliged” to do it. “Musts” generally get spat back at you by your omnipresent ego. “Really? You’re telling me I have to do it…well we’ll see about that!”

All permanent change comes from within and is relatively effortless. This is because once you have decided something spiritually, the psychological and physical just follow through. By spiritual, I mean the real you. When you have understanding, clarity, reason and make a clear decision, then your subconscious will do as instructed and almost seamlessly remove desire and create new habits.

It may sound too good to be true, but the truth of the matter is that all things brilliant in life are ingeniously simple – in fact, too “easy” and “simple” for our egos to accept as a possibility. That’s where you have to take control and guide your subconscious (the seat of habit and beliefs) to change through clarity and decision.

Start with a clear “why”. What is the reason for this change? What do I stand to gain by it and what is my motivation for doing it? Why is the change better than the status quo? What pain am I avoiding through this change? Can I see very clearly the benefits? Can I visualise myself with this new habit/s and how good they look and feel?

When you can really see yourself with the change already in place and feel how wonderful it is to be there, your subconscious will accept it as important and guide you in your new habits almost without effort. Your work is to clearly understand the why and deeply feel the need for the change as well as clearly visualising it. You are almost demanding the change because it is so clear to you why you need it. This clarity dissipates doubt and fear and empowers you forwards.

It really is that simple! If you can’t think of a personal example from your life to date I encourage you to try it out for yourself. Don’t let your ego fool you into thinking that enormous effort is required for any change or that it is just downright impossible. Bollocks! After all, most of your actions in life are just habitual so it’s simply a question of changing them.

be strong!

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi

“If you don’t like how things are, change it! You’re not a tree.” Jim John

“Face the facts of being what you are, for that is what changes what you are.” Soren Kierkegaard

INSPIRATION…