Be present in the moment

8 seconds.

That is the average human concentration span. We are SO far gone from actual reality that it comes as no surprise to me whatsoever that the world is what it is. Our minds are incessantly remembering, obsessing, criticising, complaining, dreaming…basically making noise in order to avoid the dreaded silence.

We are encumbered by fear and anxiety and obsessed by desire and the avoidance of pain. We are lost in the fantastical lands of yesterday and tomorrow. A nasty cocktail indeed that manifests in a world of violence, suffering and inequality.

The ego’s sole purpose is to create its own reality and have us believe that it is the right and only one. Through the creation of time and a false “me” it keeps us trapped in the past and future. Yet time doesn’t exist and neither does this false “me” and the “story of my life”.

Time doesn’t exist because you cannot go back to yesterday and when you were there it was “today”. You cannot go into tomorrow because when it comes it is “today”. There is only today, and to be more specific, there is only a continual movement of moments that constitute reality.

The “story of me” is not real because it is a subjective interpretation of my life experiences expressed through thought. This story creates your beliefs and values which in turn determine your thoughts, feelings and actions which define your reality; a reality which in 99.9% of humans is a roller coaster ride of highs and lows.

But surely the singular purpose in life is to live in harmony and peace?

Regardless of what you have, where you are and what you are doing, if you do not feel happy and at peace your quality of life is suffering. It is stated in the practise of Buddhism that the very objective of life is to be in peace at the moment of your death.

To live happily and peacefully the majority of the time requires that you accept the present moment as the only true reality. Can you see and understand this as an irrefutable fact?

When you clearly see this it doesn’t mean you are instantly free of the burdens of the past and anxieties of the future, but it does mean you are more aware of their nature and this awareness will help you to live more in the present moment.

Living more in the present moment is about seeing it is the one true reality and understanding that real peace can only exist in that moment. It isn’t about abandoning your dreams and aspirations or forgetting your past, but about releasing yourself from attachment to your past and to your desires.

The past has happened for you to learn lessons and grow (hopefully!), so take those lessons and leave the emotional attachment behind (no amount of anger or tears will ever change it).  looking to the future to become more and achieve more is only destructive if you are attached to that vision meaning you will be highly emotional if you don’t reach your goals. It is highly unlikely you are currently doing today as you planned or thought you would be doing 3 years ago, so why be surprised or disappointed when life takes you in a different path than expected when that is the norm?

I don’t know if we were meant to live 100% of the time in the present moment, but I do know that this is where you will find true peace. It is not a bucket-list tick or goal to gradually achieve. it requires clarity and understanding combined with a firm desire and determination, but without attachment or you will once again be caught up in your ego’s story of me.

Reflect, understand, relax and enjoy the vast silence and peace that can only be found right now, and now, and now…

“Look lovingly at the present, for it holds the only things that are forever true.” A Course in Miracles

“What you are is what you have been. What you’ll be is what you do now.” Buddha

“Realise deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life.” Eckhart Tolle





Having been through a divorce a few years back with 2 small children I had the opportunity to reflect long and hard on forgiveness. Yep, over and over…

What is forgiveness? Why do we need to forgive? Is it even necessary? Is it possible?

Although it might seem contradictory, forgiveness is fundamentally about you, not anyone else. It is about you because it is you who suffers when you carry resentment and anger inside you. It is about you because you cannot forgive without first making an effort to really understand the situation. It is about you because you cannot forgive without being really honest with yourself. It is about you because it is your responsibility to love and respect yourself first and foremost.

Forgiveness comes fundamentally from a willingness to forgive and a sincere desire to understand. You cannot easily forgive someone through just wanting to be a good person and leaving the past behind you. It requires a willingness to forgive and a clarity that forgiveness is about you finding peace.

To forgive does not necessarily mean to forget or trust again. Forgiveness is to accept what has happened and know it cannot be undone. It is what it is and the important thing now is to be happy and that cannot happen when you carry the burdens of the past with you.

Life is only lived right NOW, so the only moment that truly matters is now. You’re primary concern, therefore, should be that you feel great right now. Everything that takes you away from that should be banished. Forgiveness starts with forgiving yourself for what happened (why did I let it…how could I be so stupid…why didn’t I…) which allows you to live peacefully now.

If I don’t feel good right now, then my life is not a good one and I will just continue to live more of the same in the future (because what I think and feel today will define me tomorrow). That MUST be my priority, and if that is my priority then I must let the past go. Letting the past go is about ME being happy right now. It has nothing to do with anyone else. I am the only person who can truly understand me and I am the only person who can make my life better.

I forgive because I want to be happy right now (have a quality life) and because I know the past can never be undone. I forgive because I know that will improve my quality of life and of those around me. I forgive so that I am free from the past, but I do not forget as the lessons learnt from my experiences can be valuable in being clear about who and what I choose in my life. I forgive because I choose to be a strong person and be an example for others to follow.

I forgive because I love and respect me!

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”                    Mahatma Ghandhi

“The first step of forgiveness is the willingness to forgive.”                                          Marianne Williamson


Quiz.001 Forgiveness Quiz